Wednesday, January 7, 2009

How to Strengthen a Marriage with ADHD Children

Yesterday my social worker came to visit us. We usually talk about the kids but this time we talked a lot about my husband and my marriage.

To my surprise she was really impressed by him! I told her how he started working out and taking Logan to the pool every week. She was happy to hear that he was reading a marriage-help book (that I picked out for him, pictured here. After he finishes reading, I'll write another post). She was also happy to hear that he seemed really tuned into Logan's anxiety because he admitted having similar feelings in the past and recognized it in Logan.

"He's trying, Jenn." She told me loudly and clearly. I guess he really is. I just want more sometimes. Is that selfish of me?

I was doing some research today and found an article that talked about the higher risk of divorce for parents with children with ADHD and how the risk seems to diminish after the child turns 8. Logan is now 5 and Spencer is almost 2. Does this mean, I am out of the risk-zone in three years or six years if Spencer ends up being diagnosed with ADHD? I get tired just thinking about it.

All I know is that I should really think positively about my husband. He is a good guy and while sometimes he makes things a hard sell, he usually does go along with my ideas at the end of the day. Luckily, I'm a publicist so I can do the hard sell if need be.

Of course, I would still like more from him so if any of you have tips as to how to bring more closeness between partners when you have special needs kids or how to stay on the same page when it comes to discipline, please feel free to leave a comment or email me.

2 comments:

foodie said...

Hi Jenn! I decided to take a break from research and read your blog. I can't believe how big the boys are...and how much Logan looks like Kai in that picture. That's a great list of things to be grateful for. When I'm down in the dumps, I will try to create my own list. Today has been a rather productive day...now I need to exercise and figure out what's for dinner. Talk to you soon...miss you...onni

manuela227 said...

Hey Jen,

Just wanted to let you know that I really admire you. You are a great mom. I have only known you for four months but I already know that you are an amazing mom. Logan, Spencer and Kai are so lucky to have you. I don't know if I believe in happy vibes but I believe in prayer and I am praying for you.
Keep up the good work! It is going to pay off, you'll see!