Remember that I Love Lucy episode where Lucy and Ethel eat a gazillion chocolates and Fred and Ricky fill the kitchen with bubbles doing the laundry?
I had a similar opportunity yesterday and it was truly gratifying. I always wanted Kai to see how stressful it was to have both of the kids at home after Logan comes home from school. Yesterday, he got his chance or should I say, I got my chance.
Logan comes home around 3 PM and that is around the time I take a Klonopin because I would find it harder and harder to breathe.
Here was my bold step: Instead of seeing my acupuncturist on Sunday night after the kids go to bed, I changed my appointment to the most stressful time of my day(4-6:30PM, M-F) and gave Kai a chance to do my job of watching the kids and then feeding them dinner. I could have been really cruel and not even prepared dinner (his and theirs) but I did everything in advance and then left.
I was gone for less than two hours but when I came home, Logan was crying, he had not finished dinner and the house was a mess. According to Kai, Spencer had refused a lot of his foods too and I could tell Kai was stressed. Actually, he seemed perplexed too. He said that Logan was just crazy today and asked me if he acts like that all the time because he doesn't act like that on the weekends. "That's because both of us are home on the weekend. The weekdays are always harder because it's just me here alone," I said. One lesson learned: two points for me!
Later, he asked me to ask Logan's teacher if Logan talks loud at school. Apparently Kai does not know that talking loudly and too much is a symptom of ADHD but now he knows because I told him. Another lesson learned: two more points for me.
As for Logan "going crazy", I told Kai that Logan must get a time out as soon as he breaks the rules. If he lets things slide then Logan may just continue to misbehave and maybe even get worse. I am not sure how much Kai looks at our rule chart but today, I grabbed the opportunity to really emphasize its importance. We learned this in parent training class too. When standing rules are broken, you must always give a time-out - no exceptions.
So did Kai learn anything today? I think he did, but how much? Only time will tell. He did have a very busy morning but I think those last two hours with the kids really did him in. He fell asleep at 9:30 PM.
What did I learn today? I learned that giving myself a break by going swimming and getting acupuncture during "business hours" can be surprisingly guilt-free. Also, giving my husband an opportunity to see how hard my life is and having him "get it" can make one feel........... there are really no words to describe the bliss. And guess what? No Klonopin today! Not one! Ten more points for me! Hooray! Ok, I did have a glass of Shiraz but I needed to celebrate this post!
(Pictured at right: My absolute favorite time of the week-acupuncture. Hyun takes good care of me. Here I think she was healing the points in my back where my psychological stress affected my body physically. All she did was press a point on my back and OUCH! That's where she knew to put the needle. Amazing! Pictured above: Our rule chart- Yes, I know it needs to be redone. #3 refers to his blankie that is not allowed to come out of his room or we spend an hour looking for it before bedtime. #7 is an idea from his school psychologist, Giuliana Losapio, smart woman. This rule instantly nullifies Logan's "but Mommy, that rule is not on the chart")