Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The New Food Plan: What I've Learned So Far

The first thing I learned was that I am a very impatient person. You might even call me compulsive. That is what my social worker once said about me. This week, I proved her right.

How do I know that I'm impatient and/or compulsive?

1. I always talk about trying to get my husband on the same page but I devised this food plan completely without his consultation. In fact, when I told him that I made a new feeding plan for Logan, I told him to go read my blog to find out what it was. Yes, I am that horrible, I know. This also means that you all knew about this plan before he did. Am I the worst parent/wife in the world or what?** I should sit in a corner and reflect upon my shame. We call that bansong in Korean, it's like a time-out but much more shameful.

2. I rely on Logan's school psychologist for much of his behavior management and yet because I was in such a hurry, I didn't consult the plan with her even though the plan involved school lunches too. What is wrong with me? My first revision to my plan after talking with her today was to give him a small school lunch too so that he can feel accomplished, just like the way I do at dinnertime. I guess I give Logan a good-sized lunch because I am not there to give him more if he wants it but for now, I really need to shrink his lunches. Logan's school is great in that they have a GFCF snack stash for him (they requested it) and so if he was still hungry, they could give him more food. Is this a great school or what?

3. Food can be an emotionally charged topic for many and it still is with me. I have never seen so many comments on any of my posts. I am thankful for all the advice and what I learned most is that I need to relax about feeding the boys. I need to relax about a lot of things.

4. This was a big departure from the way we usually do things. I should really not be so compulsive when making such a big change. This problem had been nagging at me for a while but I almost treated it like the way you do when you glanced at your dirty neglected toilet one too many times and then you finally just got down and scrubbed it clean, forgetting that you have other things to do and pretty much not caring. I'm going to be more adult about things next time.

**I do forgive myself a little for not consulting Kai in advance because he knows how difficult it is to feed our kids and pretty much avoids doing it. In our house, the kids eat together, I am pretty much spoon-feeding Spencer and reminding Logan to eat and stay in his seat while Dad eats by himself at the dining table, undisturbed. When he's done, he does something else like the dishes or watches TV to "digest." After I finish feeding the kids, then I get to eat, alone. I know it's bad. We'll work on that too someday. Believe me when I say that on the days when Kai is home to eat with us, it is still pretty much impossible for us all to sit down and have a meal together unless the meal consisted of a well-frosted cake and milk. Maybe we should start like that and work our way up to chicken and broccoli. Hey, a new idea!

(Pictured: The boys finish the last of the Christmas cookies from the dinner party with our friends who are also GFCF and everything else F.)


Blog said...

Have you tried letting your older son help you cook? Make simple things he can help make and eat. Because you are GFCF scrambled eggs (make with water instead of milk) is always easy and you can add all sorts of things to them. When children help cook they feel a sense of accomplishment and "ownership" so they eat it. Also my son who is an ADH'er picks out one meal per week from one of my cookbooks with colorful pictures and we agree no matter what is in it he will try it. We call it new foods day and he tries and it almost always likes it. Have you checked out this book:
The Kid-Friendly ADHD and Autism Cookbook: The Ultimate Guide to the Gluten-Free, Casein-Free Diet. It is really good. Link below! Good luck!

Jenn said...

Ms. J., You are telling me to do something that Logan desperately wants me to do. He always wants to help me but it's hard because my toddler has special needs too and he gets himself into dangerous situations when I'm not watching him but still, I will try to make the time somehow to do this. I love your new foods day idea. I bet my husband would like it the best. He is so sick of my cooking. BTW, Logan is egg-free too. It's the one thing that actually makes him throw up. But you sold me on the book. Thanks!

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