Saturday, May 2, 2009

Why A Note Next to the Toilet?

Every month, Spencer's Early Intervention team has a meeting about Spencer's progress. I don't know if every state has this but New York does and it is awesome. All of his therapists come to my house and we all talk about Spencer's progress, the therapists ask each other questions about how to have more successful sessions, and the most dreaded part: telling Mom what she needs to do to make it work.

Sometimes, when I'm with a therapist, I feel like a total failure, "You need to do this....," or "I know you don't have a lot of time but you should try this....," or my favorite: "because you are doing that, he is acting this way." At these meetings, I learn a lot, ask a lot of questions, but I get a lot of "homework" too.

This homework isn't just for me. The head of our ADHD household has to be on the same page too, right? But when is a good time to tell him? Over the weekend when we are trying to relax? After he comes home from work hungry and exhausted, or how about if I ask him to turn off the t.v. to "talk." ????? And even if I did, how would he remember everything?

So, yesterday, I typed out the results of the meeting, used bullet points to make it easy to read, printed it, and taped it next to the toilet at eye level (when seated). I figure, he has to use the toilet at least three times a day and more on the weekends. He will absorb the info with each visit hopefully. This absolves me from having to talk(nag) to him about what we have to do. Anyway, it's just an experiment but I have a feeling my husband prefers this over me telling him what to do. Writing it down sounds like it's coming directly from the therapists which is in essence, it is, and that is MUCH more effective.

Addition 5.4.09- Penny left a comment and it sparked another idea: As we get new notes and directions from our therapists and teachers, we should change the color of the paper or mat it on a different color construction paper. This will catch their eye and automatically tell them that it is a new note. Again, no nagging words necessary. Also, I don't see why we can't do that with a Rules Chart for kids as well. For them, it might be helpful to add a new rule. I have a feeling this can help because I remember when I was in high school, I used to cut out images of thin women and put it on the fridge. However, after a while, it didn't phase me at all but I think if I had put a picture of a different thin woman every week, then maybe it would have been more effective. Just a thought.... I'm going to try it.


Penny Williams said...

This is your most brilliant idea yet! I always feel like my husband doesn't care about our ADHD battles and victories because he acts like I am bugging him walking about it all the time. I am totally going to replace all the reading material in his "library" with info I want to tell him but he doesn't feel like hearing in the evenings! You are a genious!

Caeseria said...

That IS brilliant!!!!! I'm going to use it around our house, because my husband hates being "told what to do" and I hate being a nag, but he IS forgetful and disorganized, and I AM the Keeper of Itineraries, and this would be so simple and easy!! And nice, and non-confrontational! I love it!!!
Thanks a bunch!