Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Being Positive and Feeling Accomplished
Today, was just like any other day. Logan was slow to start his morning routine and needed assistance to carry out every single thing he had to do. It took him twenty minutes to change into his clothes. We are talking shorts and a t-shirt here; no big production and yet, he took forever. He does that sometimes.
Instead of nagging, I decided to be cheerful this morning. It's a little sad that I had to make a conscientious decision to be cheerful but I had to so that I could deal with Logan this morning.
It was hard but I held my tongue and did not say one negative comment. Instead I just tried to recognize anything good he did even if it wasn't that great. For example, it took 15 minutes to get him to take off his pajama pants, but instead of saying, "You still didn't change?!?" I said instead, "Oh, look, you already changed out of your pants, great!" I deserve a Golden Globe.
Strangely, it actually worked. Even though he was so behind schedule, the more smiles I gave and positive comments I made, the faster he worked at getting the job done. The next thing you know, he finished his breakfast, took his pills and vitamins, put on his socks and shoes and was ready to get on that school bus-ON TIME. Those last steps were effortless on my part.
The craziest thing was that he actually said to me, "I'm going to miss you, Mommy." I can honestly say that I have never heard that in the morning! Logan is so transparent. He can and would never hide the fact that I've made him happy. I should count my blessings that he's still expressing himself to me this way. I'm sure when he's nearing those teen years, such expressions could be revolting but for now, I'm lucky my little guy still likes me.
I found something else today about feeling good about yourself. I read a really great story from a guest blogger on Well- Tara Parker-Pope's Health Blog from The New York Times. The guest blogger had ADHD when he was a child (rode the short bus like some of our kids do) and felt "retarded" for much of his younger years until he discovered his love for running. His accomplishments empowered him to feel good about himself and helped him get through high school. He finished university at the Master's level, became a teacher, and is now a principal of a high school in Ohio.
Excuse me, but WOW!!!!!!! It's not only inspiring to me as a mom but to me as a person! It's one of those stories that I'm going to have to print out and save in a Real-Life ADHD Stories Folder for my kids when they get older. (OOOH, now that's an idea.) I'm not sure Logan is ready to hear about his diagnosis yet but I can see that he knows that he has a hard time with certain things.
Stories like this will certainly ease the pain and will hopefully lift his spirits when he feels alone and "stupid." The fact that the guest blogger is a principal is also great since it's a role to which he can relate at an early age. Three cheers for ADHD role models! Now, I wonder how we can find some more...... I only know of Michael Phelps and Ty Pennington. Let me know if you have anymore names and stories. In the meantime, you might find John Elder Robison interesting. He has Asperger's and not ADHD but, I found his autobiography, Look Me in the Eye just as inspiring. I read it in just a few days and this slow-processing brain of mine can't say that about just any book.
Picture: There is no question: Logan loves to run. I think he was holding onto some dandelions in his pocket which he later gave to me. I hope he'll like track if and when he tries out. I was on the track team for a year in high school and gave new meaning to the word "last." I have a feeling he won't be the same. I did finally find my "thing." I loved writing and being co-president of the Asian club in high school. There were days when I went to school just so I could go to a club meeting.