Monday, November 16, 2009
Flattening Breasts Can Be Empowering
Do you think about your accomplishments at the end of the year? Sometimes I do but this time, it is strangely all in the perspective of how I'm taking care of myself. When I was working, it was about how much I made, what promotions I got, where I want to be next year... now, I've set my measurement goals differently, like how many panic attacks I've had this month vs. last month.
Things I've done recently that make me feel like I'm a responsible grown-up:
1. I finally went to my regular check-ups -- Internist and Gyno! It only took a vaginal pimple to scare me into getting up-to-date with my regular exams! I even got myself new birth control because I had to make an admission to myself that I am not going to remember to take a pill every day. (I still don't know if I have ADHD) Even with my anti-anxiety pills that I really depend on, I sometimes forget to take those as well. This time I decided to go with a brand name because these once-a-month things are never generic, however I did save money by going to my insurance company's pharmacy.
2. I got my first mammogram! I didn't even know I was supposed to get one but some doctors want you to get one between 35 and 40. I was a little worried because I didn't know where to go but I got a referral from a friend to a good place called Doshi Diagnostic and luckily I was familiar with the company because they have been philanthropic to causes that I've cared about and I even had an old drinking buddy working there. When I got there, I wasn't scared until I walked into the room and saw the squeezer-machine and then I started to get really anxious. However, it went really well, the technician treated me delicately and the exam didn't hurt. Now that I've had a mammogram, I kind of feel grown-up but I'm really not looking forward to my future colonoscopy. I've actually seen one performed. It's cool and not cool.
3. I started my no-carb diet. Only cheated once since I started and that was because I was hungover from a night out with special needs mom friends! I think I've only lost three pounds but I'm determined this time. I am even thinking of what I want to eat when I go shopping for food. I usually only think about the kids and maybe Kai. The last time I did a no-carb diet, I lost 25 lbs but I have to be careful about dieting in front of Logan. He really doesn't get it and he has feeding issues himself.
4. I bought myself new bras and they are not from Victoria's Secrets like the one I wrote about in my earlier post about bra and panty therapy. In fact, I have to say that I RARELY wear those. Nope, I realized that cotton and comfort was more therapeutic than rayon and underwire.
5. I bought myself new shoes with a little heel! I have developed plantar fasciitis again so I have to wear a little heel but boy does it feel good to feel a tad taller. I think it also makes you straighten your posture and use more muscle as you walk. It's kind of strange but I feel prettier. I am also wearing a girdle and surprisingly feeling more comfortable with it on, even under my jeans.
6. I've been doing some home "office" improvement and the increased organization has improved my mental health. In fact, I have now committed myself to eliminating clutter in my home and replacing it with art. It's been an interesting venture with two hyperactive boys. More on that in another post.
7. Candles are back in my life. Kirk Martin said in one of his lessons that aromatherapy can stimulate ADHD kids while they do their homework but I have found that it puts me in a good mood too. One thing I've learned though....cheap candles don't really do the trick. Why does everything have to be expensive? UGH!
There is a lot more to do on this front. I need to make more time for re-starting my career. I also need to get to that damn gym and exercise. Hanging out with Spencer in the pool doesn't count as exercise. Additionally, I still need to sleep more but for some reason, I'm waking up at 5 am by myself and loving the peace and quiet to get things done while I have the fresh morning energy.
I also need to keep my promise to myself and buy some shirts that are NOT the same style but in different colors. All of my shirts are stained thanks to the ADHD brothers. Especially for Spencer my tactile-defensive pup, my shirt is his towel, napkin, and snot-rag.
Lastly, I am seriously considering LASIK surgery. My kids already broke my spare pair ($500). Also, I don't know if it's sensory issues or the frustration and lack of time that I have as a special needs mom but glasses and contacts annoy me! I am going to do whatever I can to simplify my life as long as I can afford it! No more toddler fingerprints on my glasses!
Photo: My technician told me that I was the first patient to ask her to take a photo while getting a mammo. Yeah, I'm weird. I know.