Wednesday, October 28, 2009
One year ago, my husband came home from work and I quietly told him that I couldn't breathe and that I had chest pains. My doctor called me to go to the ER and soon I left my house and didn't come home until 5 AM the next day.
It was an unpleasant experience. I was under 40 so thus atypical for a woman having a heartattack so I had to beg and beg to be seen because I just couldn't breathe! Finally, I was seen by a doctor but the experience was no better. Nothing they did helped me.
Also, like an idiot, I went to a public hospital and the person next to me behind the curtain was handcuffed to his bed. A row of correction officers lined up around him so that they were facing my bed directly. I tried to sleep but the inmate was snoring like crazy and then when he woke up the officers wouldn't stop chatting. I was in hell and the medication they gave me to help with the breathing didn't do a thing.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
This family has been through lots of changes this fall. Both of the boys have started new schools and have been assigned new therapists. Whenever routines are broken, at least one of us breaks down and many times, that person is me. It's been hard on all of us but in the end it's such a good thing.
What I've learned is that change is the only way you can see how well your child is generalizing their skills. I think kids with neuro-challenges really have a hard time doing that. For example, Spencer would say certain words with one therapist and in that same day, with the same toy, he'll say different words or will not perform the skill at all because he's not "generalizing across people," the therapists told me.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Before I was married, I didn't believe I would be anything other than a No-Shit Mom.
Okay, this is the second time I used an inappropriate word on my blog and so I apologize if anyone is offended but some words just say it all.
My kid was going to study, I told myself up until he was born. He would not be spoiled. And he would be able to speak at least three languages, one of them being Mandarin Chinese. (By the way, I am not Chinese American)
Even when you have typical children, I'm sure parents laugh at themselves when they compare their pre-baby goals to their actual goals after birth. Gosh, now my goals are not even anywhere close to him being multilingual! My goals are more like: Logan will stay in his seat for five minutes without being told to do so. and Logan will make one non-school friend by the end of 2009. Of course, now I must share my personal goal which of course is: Jenn will no longer need anti-anxiety medication after 2010 and/or lose 20 pounds.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
For the past two weeks, illness has visited almost everyone in my house. It started with me, and then Spencer, and then Logan. They were all different viruses, believe it or not. I am so tired.
As we all know, moms do not get a sick day. We have to show up to work irregardless unless we are so sick that we can't even stand up. Even then, there are still things we have to do. If my husband was helping me then I would at least attempt to tell him what to feed the kids, what time the school bus comes and drops off each child, and which therapists come at which time.
The thing that really irked me the most was my non-sick husband. I must have felt every emotion there is to feel toward someone this week, such as:
1. Self-righteousness: As soon as I felt even a bit of guilt, I turned around and said, no, he will have to pitch in so that I can recover. Thus, I didn't ASK for anything and instead TOLD him to watch the kids, do the dishes, give the kids a bath.... etc. This attitude met little sympathy or respect .